This is what everyone is longing for. Whoever you talk to about any situation the suggestion / advice amongst many would be “Be Happy, Be Positive”.
You would come across many books, journals, articles throwing light on how much it is important and how deep it affects our lives.
I would like to share a short story which I read somewhere –
There was an 8-year boy who went to his father and said “Dad, how can I be happy? I want to be happy, but don’t know how?” His father thought for a minute, looked around and gave him an Apple and said, “Keep this apple with you wherever you go – to school, play, your classes, music lessons, friend’s house, everywhere.” The boy was excited and took the apple with him. He followed what his father said and he kept the apple in his pocket all the time. Days passed and the apple started to rot and emit a foul smell. One day when he couldn’t take the smell any more, he went to his father and said, “The apple is rotting and emitting a foul smell I don’t want to keep it with me.” The father said, “Throw the apple. Similarly, also throw away all the thoughts, behaviours, and words which are negative and you have procured from others. Do not hold on to them or keep them with yourself, they will smell and in the long run pull you down. They will spread negativity and you will be sad. If you want to be happy don’t hold on to anything. In the short run they may help to boost you but in long run they will always pull you down, drag you and make you feel sad.”
In today’s world we will come across many people who could say, behave and even look true and happy on the outside, but the question is,
Are they really happy?
Is their behaviour true?
They might feel or it might seem like they are happy, but it would only be from outside and not happy internally. They might project by wearing a mask or might genuinely not be aware of it themselves, or not in connect with their inner self. There are many who know want to be but don’t know how?
Some would say if I achieve my goals, if my desires are fulfilled, when my suffering ends, if I achieve my targets, if I have sound happy harmonious relationship …… the list is endless even if we achieve all our desires, we will not be happy and even if we are, it would be temporary. There will always be a feeling of something is missing, helplessness, emptiness, frustration, sadness, worry, anxiousness, insecurity, unhappiness, which might lead to anger, depression, anxiety and so on.
In such a scenario people suggest and say – Be positive and things will change, its matter of time, that’s true but how? It’s easy to say but difficult to do.
As we grow older and gain more wisdom through the years, we realize that money or popularity by themselves do not spell success. Rather, it is the presence of happiness in our lives that makes it all worthwhile. We may be the wealthiest person on our street but if we’re miserable, we are far from successful.
Here are few tips / techniques that I have developed and would like to share:
1. Affirming True statements: Constant reminder that, “This too shall pass”, “Nothing is permanent”, “After every dark night there is a bright sunny morning”. I always considered these sayings to be a tonic to help us get through difficult times. It never occurred to me that I should ponder those words when times were good. In 2020, we’ve experienced both our “hour of pride” — new all-time highs in the stock market — and the “depths of affliction”, including the coronavirus, a collapsing economy and a stock market crash.
Only affirming, saying casually and not doing affirmations in right manner, with no action no words, it will not help in anyway. It is mere waste of time and energy. In fact, it will create negativity by its ineffectiveness and failure.
2. Taking the positives from Nature: Take the positives from nature and your surroundings and anchor them. Release the negativity. But How? By Being with nature, going to parks, beaches, mountains, gazing at the open sky or just taking a deep breath with open arms in your balcony or near your window, feeling the air, breeze with your eyes closed and taking all the positive energy from the nature within yourself. Our affinity toward nature is genetic and deep-rooted in evolution.
For example –
Have you ever wondered why most people prefer to book accommodations that have a great view from the balcony or the terrace?
Why patients who get a natural view from their hospital bed recover sooner than others?
Why does it happen that when stress takes a toll on our mind, we crave for time to figure out things amidst nature?
Now sit and pen down, journal down all your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Vent out all the and be empty. Create space for new positivity to enter within you.
3. Fix dedicated time: In today’s world we are constantly bombarded, exposed to negatives which makes us anxious, fearful, insecure, sad, worried, major information, discussion, news is pulling us down by making us sad, unhappy but they are important for us to know, so we are with the current world. The list goes on and on. So, how do we reduce these things which are a large part of most people’s lives? Simple. Take a break from them.
Each day, we simply remove one negative influence from our daily routine. Turn off the T.V. early, avoid talking to your friend who only wants to complain about their spouse or walk to the store instead of driving. Fix your time, plan your day accordingly by keeping dedicated time duration for such information, discussion, reading and stick to it. Once you are done leave from it and shift. Shift yourself (physically and mentally).
4. Filtering the past and forgetting about it: Do not carry baggage – “Travel light – Be light”.
Analyse the past experiences, learn from them, change wherever necessary, drop the experience, forget it, grow from it and move on. It’s a process – a constant process for all the experiences.
Think about the following example:
We’re driving down the highway when we notice a car tailgating us. As we speed up, it speeds up as well. Now, most of us get angry and belligerent when this happens and will probably use a certain hand gesture when they eventually pass us. This will usually put us in a sour mood and we might even let this episode ruin our entire day.
Being tailgated is not a positive event in and of itself but if we choose to look at it from a different viewpoint, it can be.
What if we instead chose to believe that the person tailgating us had a pregnant woman in the vehicle who was about to give birth and needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible? Or what if it was a father of a 6-year old girl who was rushing to see her because she had a tragic accident at school?
Would we still be upset at them? I think not. Instead, we would get out of their way as quickly as possible and be glad to do it. This mentality can be used for virtually any event in our lives. Think about the power behind this for a moment.
We can literally change our outlook on life by choosing to view things in a positive light. And do you think this will lead to us being happier? Of course. But getting to the point where we can shift our mindset from negative emotions like fear, anger, and frustration to positive ones like forgiveness and empathy takes time and takes work. But it can be done through changing our habits.
I would put it in this way –
Experience – Analyse – Learn – Change – Drop – Forget – Grow – Move on.
Everything that happens in our lives is just a series of events. It’s how we react to these events that shape how our lives turn out. We can choose to react positively or negatively to anything that happens to us.
5. Boost your Immunity: Build your immunity. Make it strong by taking care of your physical health as well as mental health. As much as we hear it already, exercise, particularly vigorous exercise, really is a cure all. Getting those muscles pumping and oxygen working through the body does wonders for our emotional and physical health. If you aren’t exercising right now, you need to start. Exercise can be in the form of walking, jogging, cross training or playing tennis. The key is to start moving your body. You will feel better and look better and when those things happen. Plus, you will feel more confident, positive, and happy. That’s just a plain and simple fact.
Maintain a good physical health by eating right, proper physical exercise, and good sleep.
Maintaining a good mental health by staying in awareness with the emotions and feelings of oneself. Being in sync with your inner-self. This can be achieved by taking deep breaths, meditation, constantly reminding and staying alert and aware, spending time with self, affirming.
I have created my boosters (BE HAPPY LIST)
By penning down list of things that I like, enjoy & which boost my energy. I have written them on a piece of paper in bold font with different colour pens and put it on the wall in my bedroom close to dressing.
Whenever I am feeling low, sad, depressed, frustrated, upset – I go to this list and pick a tiny thing that clicks at that moment and start doing it. This helps me in being aware and making the shift easily.
I would not say more on this, rather would want you to try yourself and experience it.
Few things from my be happy list: –
• Painting.
• Reading.
• Talking to a friend.
• Shopping.
• Watching comedy shows.
• Listening to music and gazing outside the balcony.
I would conclude by saying.
Be Happy Be Positive
Don’t Fear Have Faith